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rough permissions
Jun. 28th, 2020 04:18 amDon't defend pedophilia/hebephilia out of character to me. I don't care if it's a villain character, or someone unsympathetic, arguing it in character (eg, David from canon). Yes, other countries and states have different rules, but my limit is 16+ for writing or a country's legal situation, 18+ for myself. Age gaps between consenting adults are more than fine.
I backtag forever. If you don't understand something, ask - English isn't my first language, and I sometimes muck it up. My favorite style is 3rd person prose, but I'm happy with action stuff.
Any level of violence covered in canon is a-okay, to be done to her or have her involved in. This includes maiming, murder, torture, etc.
Shipping - yes, f/f. Willing to do m/f IF you're okay with Ellie trying the relationship and being uncomfortable/unenthused/confirming she is Deeply Lesbian.Trans women are women, and so are fine in this and smut. Dina is also more than welcome!
Smut - if on a meme for it, or otherwise stated, sure. F/f only though, for consensual stuff.
You can talk to me about noncon/dubcon, but I won't always be up for it. 99% of the time, I'm interested in noncon as a story agent or character exploration device, the same as severe violence, rather than something titillating.
Below involves spoilery stuff for the game. I'm happy to play Ellie both before and after the events of part 2, and i have another account for her younger self!
( Spoiler territory within. )
I backtag forever. If you don't understand something, ask - English isn't my first language, and I sometimes muck it up. My favorite style is 3rd person prose, but I'm happy with action stuff.
Any level of violence covered in canon is a-okay, to be done to her or have her involved in. This includes maiming, murder, torture, etc.
Shipping - yes, f/f. Willing to do m/f IF you're okay with Ellie trying the relationship and being uncomfortable/unenthused/confirming she is Deeply Lesbian.Trans women are women, and so are fine in this and smut. Dina is also more than welcome!
Smut - if on a meme for it, or otherwise stated, sure. F/f only though, for consensual stuff.
You can talk to me about noncon/dubcon, but I won't always be up for it. 99% of the time, I'm interested in noncon as a story agent or character exploration device, the same as severe violence, rather than something titillating.
Below involves spoilery stuff for the game. I'm happy to play Ellie both before and after the events of part 2, and i have another account for her younger self!
( Spoiler territory within. )
Mini-opt out for breath of usir.
Dec. 2nd, 2018 02:18 pmSo, Ellie's nineteen years old and has a bundle of hormones she's experiencing, and every ability to act on said hormones as an adult. Having been a bi 19 year old woman recently (now I'm a bi 20 year old woman) and seeing the gameplay trailer, I'm giving her an experience similar to my own: she crushes really easily on women.
That said, she won't act on any of her crushes on her own. However, the thoughts will still be there, though they're likely to quickly fade after a while of knowing your character. This is the opt out post. Not everyone is comfortable with seeing that, and it's okay. Comments are screened.
Post here with your journal if you'd rather Ellie not have a crush on your character. Note that this is only applicable to women.
That said, she won't act on any of her crushes on her own. However, the thoughts will still be there, though they're likely to quickly fade after a while of knowing your character. This is the opt out post. Not everyone is comfortable with seeing that, and it's okay. Comments are screened.
Post here with your journal if you'd rather Ellie not have a crush on your character. Note that this is only applicable to women.
(no subject)
Nov. 29th, 2018 02:40 am| Ellie Williams |
 |
 ABOUTNAME: Ellie Williams NICKNAME(S): n/a RACE: Human AGE: 19 IDENTITY: Female; she/her EYES: Green HAIR: Reddish-brown SKIN: Light and freckled, with scars. DETAILSALLEGIANCE: Yearning LIVING: X Marks the Spot PROFESSION(S): Guarding trade/transport carts, hunting, occasional adventuring. RACIAL TRAIT: Wildlander ANIMASNAME: Theseus SPECIES: Coywolf - coyote wolf hybrid. IDENTITY: Female EYES: Yellow BODY: Light brown/orange with black, light underbelly SIZE: ~50 pounds, slightly larger than a border collie FEATURES: The black is stripey and follows body lines. ALTERATION(S): TBA |
APPEARANCE Ellie, while young, easily passes for someone in her mid to late twenties. With broad shoulders, sun freckled face, and scar over her eyebrow, she can almost be intimidating...if it weren’t for the button nose and conventionally attractive face. However, when she’s in a social setting, she tends to withdraw, trying to take up as little space as possible. She prefers to stay on the edge of any crowd, and usually is fairly vigilant of anyone approaching her. When one-on-one, however, she tends to open up; she’s willing to be more expressive. This all changes while she’s fighting. Ellie will be sure of herself while focused on keeping safe, and offers no hesitation whatsoever. When coming off of an adrenaline high, Ellie usually starts shaking hard. On her right arm is a curious moth-and-fern tattoo that seems to be covering a scar. Just below her collarbone is an arrow and the words “endure, survive”. Ellie doesn’t use any scents. Depending on the day, this can mean she’ll smell like leather and oil to blood. Usually, she smells slightly of non-pungent sweat. She usually keeps her hair back, either in a low bun or a loose ponytail that she can pull away easily from if anyone tries to grab it. It has a tendency of getting greasy if she doesn’t wash it often enough. Generally, she tries to bathe every other day, but has and will go longer if she’s travelling away from commodities. Most of the time, Ellie wears tunics and pants. Very occasionally, she can be coaxed into wearing a skirt, though she finds it annoying and likely to chafe. She has no experience with armor, however, and has never bothered to wear anything beyond leather coats. No matter what, she has a dagger that rests on her right hip - even while she’s sleeping. Last bit of knowledge? Ellie has a nasty fucking mouth on her. SKILLSABILITIES |
| PERSONALITY + Determined Despite everything in her life, Ellie still has a strong will to live. No matter how hopeless a situation looks, she refuses to give up. She has no doubt of her own abilities to get her out of a fight, and will persevere through anything - changed but not broken. + Empathetic That said, Ellie is an excellent judge of when to stop pushing in a conversation. While she’s willing to ask hard questions and is often curious, she can usually tell when she’s on dangerous territory, and usually knows how to cheer someone up or make them more comfortable. Granted, just because she knows how to does not mean she will. + Loyal Ellie is incredibly loyal to her people and ideas, though when given the option she still tries to be helpful to others. Up until five years ago, her inclination was to be trusting - but experience has taught her not to let her guard down. At this point in her life, she’s able to take lives without a second thought, but she has certain lines she won’t cross. Torture, cannibalism... none of those are acceptable to her... so far. -/+ Confrontational While this is similar to Ellie’s determination, it is different. Ellie likes to take most problems and situations head on - most of the time, she would rather discuss something - even if the other person doesn’t want to. Depending on how far she takes it, this can be helpful or hurtful for her relationships. While Joel employs avoidance and she’s learned some of it from him, Ellie still prefers to take social situations head on. - Reactionary (...not politically.) So far, Ellie has just reacted to situations she’s been presented with. She doesn’t try to establish a new pattern, but focuses on her needs and the situation at hand - not what will happen in a few days, but the then-and-now. She’s also had a pattern of following other people’s leads, though she’s somewhat worked away from that. While this may have changed given enough time living in Jackson, she’s still going to fall back on reacting to each problem as it comes, and not anticipating them. - Rash All this reactionary, confrontational determination, however? Doesn’t always leave her with the best plans. While she’s good at thinking on her feet, her plans are usually spur of the moment. In canon (and in her backstory, which is the same in this case) David holds her hand, trying to have an emotional connection with Ellie and gain her trust. Ellie could have gone along with it to get out of the cage and run off to Joel when the moment was right. Instead, she opts to break his finger and try to steal the keys away. It doesn’t work. - Distant Since about five years ago, Ellie has become distant. Certainly not shy, and her personality is still intact, but when given the option she often doesn’t engage with people. In most casual talk, Ellie doesn’t open up to others much anymore, and prefers to keep to herself. There are a few people able to catch her attention and draw her out, but she tries to keep people at arm’s length. Ellie does have a sense of humor, and is happy to relax and even joke around her friends and loved ones. However, she’s hasn't been a naive young girl for years, and it shows. KEY EVENTS IN GAME HISTORYThe first word of each paragraph bolded denotes it being a key piece of history. Ellie’s story began with the Fireflies. A pro-Krimnos militia, the Fireflies based themselves in Thalassa and Atrómitos to cause damage and try to take out the other leaders. Marlene was Ellie’s godmother - and the leader of the Fireflies in Atrómitos. When Ellie’s mother died, Marlene decided to put Ellie in an orphanage, being unable to raise Ellie on her own. She didn’t interact with Ellie directly, but as Ellie began to make trouble, Marlene made sure she always had an orphanage to stay in, no matter how many bribes it took. Ellie was an oddly precocious girl growing up who had trouble making friends her own age. She did happily participate in the culture of Atrómitos, being ready to fight at a moment’s notice, but was not very good at following orders. She did make a good friend of an older troublemaker named Riley. Her first friend and crush, Ellie adored her. The two of them managed to discover Ellie’s connection to the Fireflies, and Riley eventually ran away to join, leaving Ellie alone. Riley came back after a few months, coaxing Ellie to have fun in the city with her. When they returned, they found part of the wall broken through, with the orphanage burned down. Soldiers of multiple sides were swarming, and one struck out at the two girls with a poisoned blade. Ellie’s best friend died hours later from the wound. Ellie got sick, but managed to make her way to the Fireflies for help. When Ellie first met the Fireflies, she was given her mother’s dagger, which was a family heirloom, though it seemed to hold no significant power. Soon after, a prophecy was made by a reputable prophet: The dagger curved will see the end of war, if daughter’s pricked with poisoned blade of Shore. Mother’s blood holds bondage to the soul, but daughter’s life must shed to sound the toll. Marlene decided this prophecy represented Ellie, and without telling her more than the fact that the dagger Ellie possessed had the power to end the war. Marlene hired two smugglers to escort Ellie to their camp, north of Didymos. Tess died on the battlefield, prompting Joel and Ellie to make a detour into the Swamp of Lost Souls to pay Joel’s friend a visit, and procure a boat to get them to Thalassa, and escape the majority of the fighting. They managed to get there, and after a stop to catch their breath, continued onward to the forest above. Unfortunately, the Firefly camp had been abandoned. As they tried to leave the forest, the two were caught in a magical labyrinth for around six weeks. They were forced to learn to trust each other. On the way, they met Sam and his older brother, Henry - they became comrades in escaping the magical trap and the people within. Just as they escaped, Sam was hit by a poisoned weapon, and died twelve hours later. In his grief, Henry took his own life. Joel and Ellie continued to the town his brother Tommy was living in: Jackson. Joel tried to push her off onto his brother, wary of the emotional bond the two of them were forming. Ellie challenged this, and eventually the pair were able to make peace and continue on to the next Firefly camp, in the forest to the west, on horseback. Again, they were met with failure - this time, however, they were attacked by bandits, and Joel was speared through the gut. Ellie managed to fend off the remaining party and get Joel to safety, but he quickly passed out. She was left to care for him while fleeing from the raiding party, who were now intent on revenge for their fallen comrades...in the beginning of winter. After a month, Ellie managed to hunt and kill a buck, before coming across a pair of men. They asked for a trade, and she asked to trade medicine for the animal. They accepted, and she was left alone with David while James left to retrieve some medicine. After some time, they were forced to defend their kill from a pack of wild animals, and Ellie became less distrustful of him. As they warmed themselves by the fire, David revealed he was the leader of the group Ellie and Joel had slaughtered a month back. He stayed calm and had his companion give her the medicine despite Ellie's panic and rage, and let her run off, with the promise that he could protect her if she changed her mind. Ellie was able to treat Joel with the medication, but she was left desperate as the Long Night began--and more of David’s men appeared, having tracked her horse. Ellie left Joel as warm and insulated as she could manage, disappearing into the night with her horse to draw them away from Joel. As she managed to get a little distance between herself and the men, something pounced at her horse, sending her and it tumbling off a ledge. When she got her bearings, she saw something glowing faintly in front of her, growling as it bit into her still-screaming horse. Ellie bolted without another word, letting the noises draw the hunters as she bolted for a nearby abandoned settlement. Luckily, she was able to avoid other creatures, though the screams seemed to follow her. She was finally caught by David himself, who knocked her out and took her to relative safety. Ellie awoke an hour later to the sight of butchered people, locked in a cage. David approached with venison and the offer of safety if she would calm down and give him her name. She broke his finger. He responded by trying to butcher her, before she used the distraction of one of the night creatures pawing at the window to kill James and escape into the town, where a few hundred people lived, also taking refuge. There, her suspicions were confirmed as they referred to her as David's pet--he wanted to use her. It didn't take long for David to track Ellie again - he locked her in a building that, after a tussle between the two, began to burn down. After a drawn out struggle, David managed to pin Ellie and began to strangle her, hissing threats into her ears. Ellie managed to get a hold of his machete and hacked into him, continuing until Joel appeared, hauling her off him and leading her away, torch in his hand. After their escape from the cannibals, Ellie was never quite the same. She became quiet, easily lost in her thoughts. The two of them finally made it to the Firefly camp at the base of the mountains. They has to cross a river that Ellie slipped in, slamming her head on the rocks and being swept downstream. The next thing she remembers is waking up on horseback in front of Joel, dazed and aching. He claimed the Fireflies were next to demolished, and had given up finding a way to end the war. While disbelieving, Ellie only challenged Joel once, and then accepted the answer. This led to a distance in their relationship - while she cared for him, she came to realize she could not rely on him to make decisions for her for much longer. (The truth was, with the correct forbidden ritual involving its wielder, the dagger would become much more powerful. While Marlene was convinced it would lead to triumph, the dagger had incredibly strong and detailed divination magic. It could have shown Marlene the future, but it had no sway in the war itself.) The two of them returned to Jackson, where Ellie honed her survival and hunting skills, occasionally guarding passing trading carts for money. Their life was as peaceful as it could be during the war, though Ellie never lost her distaste for winter. Five years later, their town was invaded by a Krimnos army sent to weaken Thalassa, and set ablaze. Ellie was trapped in her house, unable to escape the flames, and died of smoke inhalation. OPT OUT | |
(After the first couple of weeks, Ellie puts up a few handwritten signs around the City of Free Peoples and Thalassa Didymos.
-ELLIE WILLIAMS, trade guard for hire, to protect any shipments travelling by land. Specializes in archery and close combat, first aid, and is able to navigate difficult terrain. 15 silver/day.
-ELLIE WILLIAMS, wilderness guide. With 5 years* experience of navigating the claimed lands for adventure and trade, she is comfortable in getting people anywhere they need to go within discovered lands. Skills include combat (archery and close combat), hunting, navigation, and first aid. Price to be negotiated.)
"Ellie Williams. Leave a message, I'll get back to you."
*[OOC: Yes, this is exaggerated. She hasn't gotten rusty, though, so Ellie considers it viable. Not that she's going to go into detail for potential clients.]
-ELLIE WILLIAMS, trade guard for hire, to protect any shipments travelling by land. Specializes in archery and close combat, first aid, and is able to navigate difficult terrain. 15 silver/day.
-ELLIE WILLIAMS, wilderness guide. With 5 years* experience of navigating the claimed lands for adventure and trade, she is comfortable in getting people anywhere they need to go within discovered lands. Skills include combat (archery and close combat), hunting, navigation, and first aid. Price to be negotiated.)
"Ellie Williams. Leave a message, I'll get back to you."
*[OOC: Yes, this is exaggerated. She hasn't gotten rusty, though, so Ellie considers it viable. Not that she's going to go into detail for potential clients.]
(no subject)
Nov. 25th, 2018 10:26 pm🜙 Player Information
⤛ Name: Mai
⤛ Contact: LonelyAura#2281 on discord; LonelyAura on plurk
⤛ Over 18: Yes!
⤛ Other characters in the game: N/A
⤛ Name: Ellie
⤛ Appearance: Here, including the tattoo.
⤛ Canon: The Last of Us
⤛ Age: 19
⤛ Race: Human
⤛ Racial trait: Wildlander
⤛ Race details: Nothing out of the ordinary. Slightly tall for a human woman, and can see pretty well.
⤛ Choice: Yearning
⤛ Abilities: Nothing magical. Ellie has just never had any talent for it.
⤛ Skills:
⤛ Personality:
+ Determined
Despite everything in her life, Ellie still has a strong will to live. No matter how hopeless a situation looks, she refuses to give up. She has no doubt of her own abilities to get her out of a fight, and will persevere through anything - changed but not broken.
+ Empathetic
That said, Ellie is an excellent judge of when to stop pushing in a conversation. While she’s willing to ask hard questions and is often curious, she can usually tell when she’s on dangerous territory, and usually knows how to cheer someone up or make them more comfortable. Granted, just because she knows how to does not mean she will.
+ Loyal
Ellie is incredibly loyal to her people and ideas, though when given the option she still tries to be helpful to others. Up until five years ago, her inclination was to be trusting - but experience has taught her not to let her guard down. At this point in her life, she’s able to take lives without a second thought, but she has certain lines she won’t cross. Torture, cannibalism... none of those are acceptable to her... so far.
-/+ Confrontational
While this is similar to Ellie’s determination, it is different. Ellie likes to take most problems and situations head on - most of the time, she would rather discuss something - even if the other person doesn’t want to. Depending on how far she takes it, this can be helpful or hurtful for her relationships. While Joel employs avoidance and she’s learned some of it from him, Ellie still prefers to take social situations head on.
- Reactionary (...not politically.)
So far, Ellie has just reacted to situations she’s been presented with. She doesn’t try to establish a new pattern, but focuses on her needs and the situation at hand - not what will happen in a few days, but the then-and-now. She’s also had a pattern of following other people’s leads, though she’s somewhat worked away from that. While this may have changed given enough time living in Jackson, she’s still going to fall back on reacting to each problem as it comes, and not anticipating them.
- Rash
All this reactionary, confrontational determination, however? Doesn’t always leave her with the best plans. While she’s good at thinking on her feet, her plans are usually spur of the moment. In canon (and in her backstory, which is the same in this case) David holds her hand, trying to have an emotional connection with Ellie and gain her trust. Ellie could have gone along with it to get out of the cage and run off to Joel when the moment was right. Instead, she opts to break his finger and try to steal the keys away. It doesn’t work.
- Distant
Since about five years ago, Ellie has become distant. Certainly not shy, and her personality is still intact, but when given the option she often doesn’t engage with people. In most casual talk, Ellie doesn’t open up to others much anymore, and prefers to keep to herself. There are a few people able to catch her attention and draw her out, but she tries to keep people at arm’s length.
⤛ Canon History: the wiki!
⤛ Key History Events:
This follows canon, with some tweaks I felt it important to emphasize. The Fireflies are a group of non-military, pro-Krimnos insurgents based in the other two cities. Marlene (essentially Ellie's godmother) is the leader of those in Atrómitos. When the war encroaches too far into Atrómitos and burns the orphanage where Ellie had been living down, Marlene hires a pair of smugglers to get Ellie from Atrómitos to a camp near Thalassa. Rather than a zombie bite, Marlene gives Ellie a magical knife that belonged to her mother. According to (rather questionable) prophecy, the knife is rumored to have some kind of power that can turn the war in their favor, if channeled correctly. Ellie has absolutely no ability to do anything magical. Ellie and Joel take a winding route to avoid the war, and end up trapped in a magical labyrinth for a while - which would be the stretch of time from Bill’s Town to Pittsburgh to just before Jackson, in canon. The town of Jackson is located on the outskirts of Thalassa, around “Battlefield A”. The abandoned Firefly camp (The University, in canon) is in the forest north of Thalassa, and they discover the Fireflies have retreated to Krimnos. Ellie spends the winter hiding north of battlefield D. While Ellie doesn’t know this, Marlene learns that to use the knife’s magical power (according to the prophecy, anyway) it must kill the owner it has “bonded” to - an owner which must be part of the original bloodline who possessed it, which Ellie fits. Marlene decides to kill Ellie with said knife so she can turn the war to Krimnos’ favor and end it with this supposedly magical dagger. Joel refuses, and ends up killing the entire remaining group of Fireflies. Ellie and Joel then return to Jackson.
As for specific life changing events?
1. Ellie lived in an orphanage for most of her young life, and had a hard time making friends. Those she did, she often quickly lost due to her trouble-making tendencies. So when she finally made a close friend of Riley, an older girl in an orphanage, Ellie clung tight. When Riley died from a poisoned blade, it shook Ellie deeply - especially when the blade should have killed her as well, but only left a scar on her right arm. While she was able to move on, the guilt of living stayed with her, and would only be compounded by the deaths she witnessed of her companions later on.
2. Ellie’s first kill of a living person was to save Joel. While in of itself, death wasn’t a new concept, this was the first time she took a person’s life. While this caused friction between Ellie and Joel, it led Joel to start trusting her to be able to help him in the journey - she wasn’t a burden to him, but a friend... And eventually, a daughter figure. On the other hand, what Joel had to teach Ellie was necessary for survival, but absolutely brutal. Ellie had to learn to kill, to hunt, and to be merciless - how to judge a situation and understand that she couldn’t help or even trust other people at the risk of her own life. And, most of all, Joel passed his unhealthy coping mechanisms down to Ellie - to move forward and not dwell on the past (happier times before the war) for any reason at all.
3. Winter was still a horrible time for Ellie. Much like in canon, Joel had been horrifically injured - a lance through the abdomen - and she was the only one left to take care of him and the horse they had. Every lesson Joel had given her was put to the test, leaving her harder. However, the worst was when she encountered David and his group of cannibalistic bandits. While Ellie had learned to be hard and merciless, she had certain lines she would never cross - David represented every one of those lines to her... and challenged her, comparing her and Joel’s earlier slaughter of his bandit group in self defense to his cannibalism. Everything to him was survival and religion, twisted in a way Ellie had never seen before, and hated with every part of her being. The breaking point was when he held her down, threatening assault as he tried to strangle her. Ellie’s response was to hack him to pieces with a machete, but the damage was done - to this day, Ellie can’t stomach the taste of venison, and is often listless during winter. While it’s abated some, she occasionally experiences dissociative episodes, and has bad reactions to specific triggers. She’s been much more withdrawn since that winter, and her personality shifted away from being cheerful in the face of tragedy to quietly determined.
4. The last blow to her personality was her perception of Joel’s betrayal. While approaching the caves in Krimnos where the Fireflies were supposed to be, Ellie and Joel fell into the river, and Ellie was knocked out. By the time she came to, she and Joel were riding away from Krimnos on a horse. Joel, smelling faintly of blood and sweat, told Ellie that the Fireflies had learned the prophecy was wrong, and the knife wouldn’t do anything. According to him, they had retreated to fight in the war, and couldn’t vouch for Ellie to become part of Krimnos. Joel decided to take Ellie back to Jackson instead, so they could live out the rest of their lives in some peace. Ellie could hear the lies in Joel’s voice, but ultimately said “okay.” Not because she accepted it, but because she realized that there was nothing she could do to argue with Joel. She loves him like a father for what he’s done for her, and recognizes that he’s opening up in a way he hasn’t in a long time... But she hates him for not allowing her to make her own decisions. She realizes that she’s had the ability to be independent for a long time, and has been clutching onto a variety of different people because she’s afraid of being alone. But Ellie has learned she can be alone. She can endure and survive.
5. The next five years of her life are dedicated to learning how to live, and not just survive. She tries to step away from her anger with Joel, while still asserting her independence. She’s quiet and withdrawn, but no less determined when she finds something she wants to do. She tries to learn how to connect with people without being reliant, and she learns how to stop running from place to place. This leaves her in a superficially stable position, but one that can come crashing down with the disruption of her life.
⤛ Name: Mai
⤛ Contact: LonelyAura#2281 on discord; LonelyAura on plurk
⤛ Over 18: Yes!
⤛ Other characters in the game: N/A
⤛ Name: Ellie
⤛ Appearance: Here, including the tattoo.
⤛ Canon: The Last of Us
⤛ Age: 19
⤛ Race: Human
⤛ Racial trait: Wildlander
⤛ Race details: Nothing out of the ordinary. Slightly tall for a human woman, and can see pretty well.
⤛ Choice: Yearning
⤛ Abilities: Nothing magical. Ellie has just never had any talent for it.
⤛ Skills:
⤛ Personality:
+ Determined
Despite everything in her life, Ellie still has a strong will to live. No matter how hopeless a situation looks, she refuses to give up. She has no doubt of her own abilities to get her out of a fight, and will persevere through anything - changed but not broken.
+ Empathetic
That said, Ellie is an excellent judge of when to stop pushing in a conversation. While she’s willing to ask hard questions and is often curious, she can usually tell when she’s on dangerous territory, and usually knows how to cheer someone up or make them more comfortable. Granted, just because she knows how to does not mean she will.
+ Loyal
Ellie is incredibly loyal to her people and ideas, though when given the option she still tries to be helpful to others. Up until five years ago, her inclination was to be trusting - but experience has taught her not to let her guard down. At this point in her life, she’s able to take lives without a second thought, but she has certain lines she won’t cross. Torture, cannibalism... none of those are acceptable to her... so far.
-/+ Confrontational
While this is similar to Ellie’s determination, it is different. Ellie likes to take most problems and situations head on - most of the time, she would rather discuss something - even if the other person doesn’t want to. Depending on how far she takes it, this can be helpful or hurtful for her relationships. While Joel employs avoidance and she’s learned some of it from him, Ellie still prefers to take social situations head on.
- Reactionary (...not politically.)
So far, Ellie has just reacted to situations she’s been presented with. She doesn’t try to establish a new pattern, but focuses on her needs and the situation at hand - not what will happen in a few days, but the then-and-now. She’s also had a pattern of following other people’s leads, though she’s somewhat worked away from that. While this may have changed given enough time living in Jackson, she’s still going to fall back on reacting to each problem as it comes, and not anticipating them.
- Rash
All this reactionary, confrontational determination, however? Doesn’t always leave her with the best plans. While she’s good at thinking on her feet, her plans are usually spur of the moment. In canon (and in her backstory, which is the same in this case) David holds her hand, trying to have an emotional connection with Ellie and gain her trust. Ellie could have gone along with it to get out of the cage and run off to Joel when the moment was right. Instead, she opts to break his finger and try to steal the keys away. It doesn’t work.
- Distant
Since about five years ago, Ellie has become distant. Certainly not shy, and her personality is still intact, but when given the option she often doesn’t engage with people. In most casual talk, Ellie doesn’t open up to others much anymore, and prefers to keep to herself. There are a few people able to catch her attention and draw her out, but she tries to keep people at arm’s length.
⤛ Canon History: the wiki!
⤛ Key History Events:
This follows canon, with some tweaks I felt it important to emphasize. The Fireflies are a group of non-military, pro-Krimnos insurgents based in the other two cities. Marlene (essentially Ellie's godmother) is the leader of those in Atrómitos. When the war encroaches too far into Atrómitos and burns the orphanage where Ellie had been living down, Marlene hires a pair of smugglers to get Ellie from Atrómitos to a camp near Thalassa. Rather than a zombie bite, Marlene gives Ellie a magical knife that belonged to her mother. According to (rather questionable) prophecy, the knife is rumored to have some kind of power that can turn the war in their favor, if channeled correctly. Ellie has absolutely no ability to do anything magical. Ellie and Joel take a winding route to avoid the war, and end up trapped in a magical labyrinth for a while - which would be the stretch of time from Bill’s Town to Pittsburgh to just before Jackson, in canon. The town of Jackson is located on the outskirts of Thalassa, around “Battlefield A”. The abandoned Firefly camp (The University, in canon) is in the forest north of Thalassa, and they discover the Fireflies have retreated to Krimnos. Ellie spends the winter hiding north of battlefield D. While Ellie doesn’t know this, Marlene learns that to use the knife’s magical power (according to the prophecy, anyway) it must kill the owner it has “bonded” to - an owner which must be part of the original bloodline who possessed it, which Ellie fits. Marlene decides to kill Ellie with said knife so she can turn the war to Krimnos’ favor and end it with this supposedly magical dagger. Joel refuses, and ends up killing the entire remaining group of Fireflies. Ellie and Joel then return to Jackson.
As for specific life changing events?
1. Ellie lived in an orphanage for most of her young life, and had a hard time making friends. Those she did, she often quickly lost due to her trouble-making tendencies. So when she finally made a close friend of Riley, an older girl in an orphanage, Ellie clung tight. When Riley died from a poisoned blade, it shook Ellie deeply - especially when the blade should have killed her as well, but only left a scar on her right arm. While she was able to move on, the guilt of living stayed with her, and would only be compounded by the deaths she witnessed of her companions later on.
2. Ellie’s first kill of a living person was to save Joel. While in of itself, death wasn’t a new concept, this was the first time she took a person’s life. While this caused friction between Ellie and Joel, it led Joel to start trusting her to be able to help him in the journey - she wasn’t a burden to him, but a friend... And eventually, a daughter figure. On the other hand, what Joel had to teach Ellie was necessary for survival, but absolutely brutal. Ellie had to learn to kill, to hunt, and to be merciless - how to judge a situation and understand that she couldn’t help or even trust other people at the risk of her own life. And, most of all, Joel passed his unhealthy coping mechanisms down to Ellie - to move forward and not dwell on the past (happier times before the war) for any reason at all.
3. Winter was still a horrible time for Ellie. Much like in canon, Joel had been horrifically injured - a lance through the abdomen - and she was the only one left to take care of him and the horse they had. Every lesson Joel had given her was put to the test, leaving her harder. However, the worst was when she encountered David and his group of cannibalistic bandits. While Ellie had learned to be hard and merciless, she had certain lines she would never cross - David represented every one of those lines to her... and challenged her, comparing her and Joel’s earlier slaughter of his bandit group in self defense to his cannibalism. Everything to him was survival and religion, twisted in a way Ellie had never seen before, and hated with every part of her being. The breaking point was when he held her down, threatening assault as he tried to strangle her. Ellie’s response was to hack him to pieces with a machete, but the damage was done - to this day, Ellie can’t stomach the taste of venison, and is often listless during winter. While it’s abated some, she occasionally experiences dissociative episodes, and has bad reactions to specific triggers. She’s been much more withdrawn since that winter, and her personality shifted away from being cheerful in the face of tragedy to quietly determined.
4. The last blow to her personality was her perception of Joel’s betrayal. While approaching the caves in Krimnos where the Fireflies were supposed to be, Ellie and Joel fell into the river, and Ellie was knocked out. By the time she came to, she and Joel were riding away from Krimnos on a horse. Joel, smelling faintly of blood and sweat, told Ellie that the Fireflies had learned the prophecy was wrong, and the knife wouldn’t do anything. According to him, they had retreated to fight in the war, and couldn’t vouch for Ellie to become part of Krimnos. Joel decided to take Ellie back to Jackson instead, so they could live out the rest of their lives in some peace. Ellie could hear the lies in Joel’s voice, but ultimately said “okay.” Not because she accepted it, but because she realized that there was nothing she could do to argue with Joel. She loves him like a father for what he’s done for her, and recognizes that he’s opening up in a way he hasn’t in a long time... But she hates him for not allowing her to make her own decisions. She realizes that she’s had the ability to be independent for a long time, and has been clutching onto a variety of different people because she’s afraid of being alone. But Ellie has learned she can be alone. She can endure and survive.
5. The next five years of her life are dedicated to learning how to live, and not just survive. She tries to step away from her anger with Joel, while still asserting her independence. She’s quiet and withdrawn, but no less determined when she finds something she wants to do. She tries to learn how to connect with people without being reliant, and she learns how to stop running from place to place. This leaves her in a superficially stable position, but one that can come crashing down with the disruption of her life.
(no subject)
Nov. 25th, 2018 10:19 pmEllie stared at the stag, heart in her throat. Its antlers hung threateningly above. Beady black eyes stared ahead, glinting strangely in the cold light.
Shuddering, Ellie turned away from the stuffed deer head as Theseus growled. It was disturbingly large and lifelike, filling her with an unsettled energy. The snow blowing through the dilapidated house didn't help either, collecting on the fake animal's fur, its hair. She couldn't tell if she wanted to cry or to destroy the thing, but all options were tempting.
It was a bad day to be lost, Ellie thought. There was nothing but snow and the ruins of some village. She and her coywolf stood out like blood on the snow, painfully red and an advertisement for all who could see: come get me.
Ellie knew she could - and did - kill anything in her path. But winter always left her feeling like she was prey. Deer made her nauseous at the best of times, and this made her feel like she was fourteen again, being hunted through a blizzard and knowing if she was caught it was death or--
Ellie realized she was sitting down, back to an old stone wall. When had that happened? She looked down at her lap, seeing Theseus had shoved her head there. She was shuddering, her ears pinned back and eyes wide, white.
Ellie leaned forward, running her hands over Theseus’ head and back.
“It's okay, girl. It's okay. I got you. It's okay...”
The two of them huddled into each other until the storm settled, out of sight of the stag.
Shuddering, Ellie turned away from the stuffed deer head as Theseus growled. It was disturbingly large and lifelike, filling her with an unsettled energy. The snow blowing through the dilapidated house didn't help either, collecting on the fake animal's fur, its hair. She couldn't tell if she wanted to cry or to destroy the thing, but all options were tempting.
It was a bad day to be lost, Ellie thought. There was nothing but snow and the ruins of some village. She and her coywolf stood out like blood on the snow, painfully red and an advertisement for all who could see: come get me.
Ellie knew she could - and did - kill anything in her path. But winter always left her feeling like she was prey. Deer made her nauseous at the best of times, and this made her feel like she was fourteen again, being hunted through a blizzard and knowing if she was caught it was death or--
Ellie realized she was sitting down, back to an old stone wall. When had that happened? She looked down at her lap, seeing Theseus had shoved her head there. She was shuddering, her ears pinned back and eyes wide, white.
Ellie leaned forward, running her hands over Theseus’ head and back.
“It's okay, girl. It's okay. I got you. It's okay...”
The two of them huddled into each other until the storm settled, out of sight of the stag.
